He's So Dense
by Raven-2010
Summary: Kagome does everything she can to get dense Inu to notice her, Miroku teaches her the art of hentai, she uses hilarious tricks to get Inu's attention & works on seducing him, Sessh & Kag play a deranged trick on Inu, comedy tricks romance LEMON Inu/Kag


**Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Media do Rated R Language Lemon**

Summary Kagome does everything she can to get dense Inuyasha to notice her at first he doesn't seem to get the message,

so with Miroku's hentai teaching she resorts to hilarious tricks to get his attention then works on seducing him Inu/Kag

**He's So Dense**

**By Raven 2010 Jan 1 2011**

**The dense hanyou and professor Miroku's school for hentai's **

Kagome was watching Inuyasha dreamily thinking of all the things she could be doing with and to him her hands roaming his sexy body kissing his warm lips trailing kisses down his chest, in her mind she even pictured him picking her up and carrying her off into the woods and making love to her taking her over and over again and giving in to him in sweet surrender

Kagome tried subtleties handing him food brushing her hand against him and lingering staring longingly into his beautiful golden eyes but again he was oblivious, she even tried a little flirting with him but he didn't bite the bait Miroku watched and pitied his miko friend and wanted nothing more then to help her and he had the perfect plan Miroku waited till the others weren't there

"Kagome may I speak with you?

"Ah ya sure Miroku"

"Kagome I can't help but notice how your trying to get Inuyasha's attention and his denseness isn't taking notice of it"

"Oh crap" she said with a crimson blush

"Kagome my friend there's no need to be embarrassed in fact I want to offer you my expertise"

"Your expertise? She questioned

"Well my dear Kagome as we both know and listen because I will never admit this again I am a professional letch hentai and pervert"

"Yes" Kagome replied and grinned "But I'll never tell on you" she said playfully

"Kagome my friend I sincerely think and believe that it is time for you to join Miroku's school for hentai perverts"

"Why professor Miroku I am honored"

"There are many things us perverts do to get our way and commit lechery like jealousy for instance when Kouga comes around Inuyasha gets jealous let Kouga hold your hands don't pull away that'll drive Inuyasha nuts" Miroku said

Later that day Kouga stopped by took Kagome's hands "How's my woman?

"Fine now Kouga" how are you?

"Better now that I see you beautiful" the amorous wolf replied

"Mangy wolf let go of her now" Inuyasha snapped and got between Kagome and Kouga

"Ah shut up dog butt breath"

"Wolf toe jam" Inuyasha said

"Inushita" tell me mutt face why haven't you claimed Kagome yet? Your all jealous but yet you haven't done anything about it, I'd have done it long ago"

"None of your business" what's it to you?

"Do you love Kagome? Kouga asked with a grin

"What? Inuyasha said and glared daggers

"Hah just what I thought I love her and admit it" why can't you?

"Kiss my ass" Inuyasha bit out

"No thanks snatch lips I'd catch a disease but I will kick it for you"

"Mangy cunt ya smelly flea infested wolf"

"Ah Inuvirgin go hump a cactus and phew at least I bathe every day" Kouga wise cracked

"Oh yeah is that what you call licking your own ass? Inuyasha retorted

"My woman when you get tired of this flea bag hanyouess come look me up"

"Thank you Kouga" Kagome said in a sugary sweet voice

"Sees ya" Kouga said then left

"Kagome your way to friendly with that low life mangy wolf" Inuyasha whined "Your only encouraging him by allowing him to do it"

"Well he's just being nice to me"

"Yeah he just wants to just nice your brains out" Inuyasha bit out

"Well that's something to think about" she replied with a grin knowing it griped him

"What's that supposed to mean? He snapped

"Draw your own conclusions" she replied

"_**Whaaat? **_Inuyasha said

"Well wouldn't you like somebody to nice your brains out hmmm? She asked smiling evilly and walked away

"Uh I" hah? Wait a minute what my brains?

"He's so dense" Miroku thought

After lunch Kagome sat on the ground Inuyasha plopped down and sat Kagome moved over close to him "Kagome what are ya doing? Inuyasha asked

"Just sitting with you"

"So close? He said

Knowing what it did to canines Kagome reached up and scratched behind one of his ears Inuyasha swallowed hard and turned red then after a few long seconds he jumped up and bolted into the forest, the poor frustrated miko sat there in total disbelief Miroku scratched his head

The next night while everyone sat around the fire eating dinner Kagome readied herself to use the next move Miroku had told her to, wearing a top that dropped down low when she bent over handing Inuyasha his bowl of food she bent over making sure he got a good look at her cleavage his eyes went wide and he swallowed hard

"Inuyasha want some tea? Kagome asked sweetly "He's actually speechless I've got him now" she thought

"Inuyasha my friend cat got your tongue? Miroku asked

"Uh" hah? What? Inuyasha replied confused

"Want some tea with dinner? Kagome asked with a smile

"No that's okay I gotta go" Inuyasha said jumped up and took off for parts unknown

"Why do I even bother? Does he even have a penis? God's he's so clueless" Kagome thought

"He should want to and be trying to jump her" Miroku thought

"Miroku he's so dense I swear if I stood in front of him stalk naked he'd just say go put some clothes on, for somebody who gets all jealous over Kouga's affections for me you'd think he'd jump at the chance being given to him" Kagome said

"Kagome my friend he has passed clueless and went straight to brainless he is going to be the worst case I have ever worked on" Miroku said in a frustrated tone

The next morning Kagome went to the hot spring for her usual morning bath knowing Inuyasha would come looking for her she deliberately stayed longer then usual, and just as she anticipated he did she had her towel wrapped around her when he came into view she just looked at him innocently

"Oi wench what's taking so lon? He didn't finish

Kagome looked at him just as she had planned she pretended that she had accidentally lost her grip on her towel and it slipped down to her waist revealing to him her full round breasts, the inwardly smiling miko was internally thrilling secure in the knowledge that this would do the trick

"Oi wench your towel slipped down cover up" will ya? Inuyasha said while he turned away

"Yeah sorry" she said calmly but in her mind was seething dreaming of removing a certain part of his putting it in a jar with vinegar and pickling it "Do you even know that thing has another use besides pissing through? She screamed in her mind

"Get dressed and go back to the village you've been here to long already" he told her

'Yes mother" Kagome replied sarcastically

When the others weren't near "Kagome judging by the way you look I'd venture a guess and say that things did not go as planned? Miroku inquired

"And so right you are sensei you know I wonder if he even has normal desires? just between you and I Miroku sometimes I wish he were more like you at least with me anyway"

"This may be harder then I thought he has the worst case of denseness I have ever seen in my whole life" said Miroku

"This is un fucking believable" the miko who never swears said

"Why lady Kagome such foul language I rather like this side of you"

"Miroku I swear I just wanna bitch slap him to wake him up"

"Kagome my dear friend and student do not give up we shall employ other methods some more drastic then others" Miroku said then a wicked grin crossed his lips "If all else fails then we'll just have to kill him hehehe"

"Do tell" she replied

"Tell me on your side of the well in the future is there a ladder in the well? Miroku asked

"Yes" why?

"I have a devilish idea if your willing to go along with it that is" Miroku said then told her his idea at first her face turned white then she agreed

**Peek a boo the massage a sexy shower Inuyasha's sees porn and a new toy**

Kagome and Inuyasha went to her time and as Miroku had instructed knowing Inuyasha would look up Kagome made sure she was first to climb up the well ladder, and as planned Inuyasha looked up and gasped then his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he saw it Kagome had no panties on she was bare all her womanhood there for him to see

"K Ka Kagome? I you um bare" Inuyasha stammered he couldn't complete a sentence

"What is it Inuyasha? She asked feigning ignorance and Innocence

"Ah I it it it's nothing" he stammered "Do ya feel a draft? He thought

"Are you sure?

"Ah yeah wench I'm fine" by the look on his face she knew differently and inwardly smirked

They entered Kagome's house when and went into the kitchen she found a note on the table left there for by her mother, it told her that her family would be away and would be back in three days "What is it wench? Inuyasha asked

Kagome told him "Well looks like it's just you and me" she said "Good now maybe he'll take the bait and jump me" she thought

"Got any ramen I'm starving? He asked "Then we can get what you need and head back to the village" he said

After Inuyasha finished eating his ramen he sat on the couch Kagome turned on the TV to let him watch some of the cartoons he and Souta loved to watch and he was happy, Kagome waited after a few minutes once he was relaxed she stealthily sneaked over to stood behind and began giving him a massage starting with his neck and down to shoulders hoping that knowing they were alone he'd turn amorous and jump her bones

"Whatcha doin Kagome?

"Giving you a massage were here in my time no Naraku demons or battles to worry about we you can relax"

"I don't need no message" he said totally oblivious to the scent of her arousal and willingness to gift him with sexual pleasure

"And I know the ass can smell how much I want him" oh kami's why me? How the fuck does he ever expect to have pups some day? she thought

"You can stop now wench I'm fine" he said

"I'm gonna die a virgin I'm gonna die a virgin" she repeated to herself in her mind like a mantra "Yup whatever" she said sarcastically

"What's your problem? Inuyasha asked "Jeez what's with her? Must be that time of the month again" he thought

"We don't know the jury's still out on that one" she replied "He's so fucking dense I swear I'm gonna have to give him freaking Viagra damn Kouga would'a been all over me" she thought

"Jury" what the hell is a jury? Baffled Inuyasha asked

"Nothing just something boring is all"

"Crazy wench" he replied "Something's off with her and I'll find out what" he thought "Are on that time of the month?

"You'd smell it if I were" do you smell anything? She said

"Then what the hell's with you Ka go me?

"Never mind it doesn't matter anyway Inu ya sha" she retorted sarcastically

Kagome had a subtle hentai plot "Yeah that'll work" she thought Inuyasha?

"Yeah what wench?

"I know how much you like showers why don't you go up and take one while I clean up down here"

"Okay thanks I will" the happy hanyou replied then made a beeline for the shower

Inuyasha entered the bathroom remembering after Kagome had shown him the first time how to operate it he turned it on and got the water warm just the way he liked it, Kagome waited a few minutes went up stairs stripped went into the bathroom pulled the shower curtain back revealing a startled sexy hanyou who's eyes instantly widened when he gazed upon the sight that stood before him

"Ka Ka Ka go me wh what are you do doing? He stammered

"What? Thought we'd share a shower it saves time and water" She said innocently as if not noticing his nervousness

"B but I'm in here your there" Inuyasha nervously replied

"Yes Inuyasha I know I have girl parts you have boy parts" so what's the big deal?

"Yeah but you and me together? in here naked Inuyasha said

"Ya so? Kagome answered feigning innocence

"Well wench don't ya think it's wrong?

"Oh come on Inuyasha quit being such a girl"

"I ain't no girl"

"Are you gonna let me in there so I can have a shower to? Kagome said

"After I get out" he replied

"Never mind" Kagome replied and left

Hell bent on revenge she quickly put her robe on bolted down stairs put a load of laundry in the washing machine set it on the hot cycle and started it then at the same time turned the faucet on running all the hot water and was not disappointed

"Ahhhhhhhhh shit shit shit" what the fuck? Kagomeeeee what the hell's going on? Inuyasha screamed and jumped out of the shower at the same time

"Sweet music to my ears hope ya liked your shower hehehe" Kagome said then laughed "What's wrong Inuyasha" she asked sweetly

"The water it's freezing" he replied

"Hmm must have run out of hot water" Kagome answered smiling evilly "I'll boil some water and make tea that'll warm you up come down stairs it'll be ready"

"Thanks Gome"

"Oh I am not done with you yet my cute little dog eared rat" Kagome said to herself

Kagome had a very hentai idea one that Miroku himself would be proud of she'd take it with her and show it to Miroku her partner in crime when they got back to the feudal era, Inuyasha and Kagome went back to the feudal era she showed Miroku his eyes went wide face white then a lecherous grin covered his face

"Kagome the the things they have in your era are wonders to behold I cannot wait to see the look on Inuyasha's face let's get Sango in on this she'll love it" Miroku said

They told Sango and showed her the magazine she almost died laughing "Kagome you are so evil I love you" Sango said

Kagome then told them about the shower incident "You mean you were and he was you saw each other in the raw and he didn't? Asked Miroku

"Kag you mean you stood there naked as the day you were born and he did nothing, nothing whatsoever? You've got to be shitting me? Sango said

"Nope I kid you not" Kagome replied

"Forgive me for saying this ladies but I am deeply shamed because Inuyasha is a disgrace to the male gender" Miroku stated

"Yup" Kagome and Sango agreed

"Viagra" Kagome said they asked what it was and she told them

"Kagome you naughty girl" Sango teased

"I cannot believe it and he's a hanyou and a young one he should be even hornier then a mere mortal male especially with a female that he's so obviously likes" Miroku said

Kagome knowing her hanyou's nosy habit of snooping conveniently left the ramen in and did not take the it out of her back pack knowing he'd go into it looking for his beloved ramen and find the special magazine in her back pack

Sure enough he did not disappoint the went into the bag saw the magazine pulled it out and began to flip through the numerous color pictures first his eyes widened he gasped his face turned snow white then deep red along with his ears his and mouth gaped

Then he suddenly he developed a nervous twitch "Eeeeeeeee oh my god's oh my god's" he screeched then dropped the magazine as if it were on fire burning his hands "Ah crap" what the fuck? Ka Kago hentai, hentai K Ka Kagome" Inuyasha stammered unable to form a whole a sentence and ran like hell

Yes the poor boy got his first look at a porn magazine "I do not freakin believe it is he impotent? Is he even a man? Kagome stated they laughed

"Even I was affected by looking at it and he being half dog demon should be as well" Miroku said

"Kag I thought for sure he'd throw you over his shoulder carry you into the forest and ravage you" Sango told her

"I wear I'm gonna have to give him fucking Viagra if that fails then he's a lost cause" said

"looks like" both Sango and Miroku agreed

"Want me to beat him up for you Kag's? Sango teased

Little did they know they were being watched by golden eyes Inuyasha came back later on, a blur of silver and white zipped past the others and headed straight for Inuyasha when they looked they saw Sesshoumaru holding Inuyasha up by the collar of his haori whispering in into the ear of his turning redder by the minute little brother they couldn't hear but knew that it must be something good

"Little brother are you that fucking oblivious as to what she wants? Would you like me to show you since the miko's pictures failed to penetrate that thick skull of yours? Sesshoumaru said

"Sesshoumaru what the fuck are you going on about? Inuyasha replied

"Do you not know what to do with a female? And one who is so obviously ready since you seem not to know then I shall tell you" Sesshoumaru then proceeded to quickly give Inuyasha the talk he knew Inuyasha already knew about the birds and bees but did it for the thrill of yanking Inuyasha's chain

After Sesshoumaru was done he put Inuyasha down smacked him up side the head "And that little brother is what you do, good evening all" Sesshoumaru greeted Kagome and her companions with a devilish smirk then left

"I um I I I gotta oh crap" Inuyasha unable to form or complete a sentence said and ran

"What the hell was all that about? Kagome said

Miroku told them what he suspected "I do believe that big brother though he knew that Inuyasha already knew about the birds and bees gave Little brother the talk to bust his chops" Miroku said grinning deviously

"Oh holy shit no wonder the poor thing was so red" Sango said

"Hey you guys really wanna see a hanyou turn 50 shades of red? Kagome asked them

"Yes but what deliciously evil thing do you have in mind? Miroku asked

"Ooo please do tell the suspense is killing me" Sango added

Kagome told them Miroku almost choked Sango was on her back and they were laughing so hard their stomachs ached "Ka Kagome that is truly be beyond evil" Miroku choked out

"I' will be right guys I'm going to get it right now and I am going to give it to him gift wrapped to" she told them then ran to and jumped into the well

"Ooooo Sango I can ha hardly wait to see this" Miroku got out between laughs

"I know it's go going to be epic" Sango managed to get out

A few minutes later Kagome returned took the lid off of the box and showed it to Sango and Miroku they almost choked laughing, Kagome then took the box and wrapped it in blue wrapping paper and put a pretty red bow on it

"Oh my god's he is going to shit" Sango said

"Shit nothing he's gonna fucking hemorrhage" Miroku added and they cracked up

Hours later Inuyasha came back Miroku was cooking in a few minutes dinner would be ready, Kagome gave Inuyasha an innocent look and with box in hand walked over to him held her arm out and offering the box to him Inuyasha looked wide eyed at the miko then the box

"What's this? Inuyasha inquired

"A gift" she replied

"A gift for what it ain't my birthday or nothing"

"Consider it a peace offering" Kagome said

"Okay thanks wench" he replied with a smile

Inuyasha carefully opened the box he lifted the lid off looked then with widened eyes a look that was a combination of horror shock surprise and fear crossed his handsome angelic face, inside he saw complete male genitalia a long penis fully sheathed inside of a woman's genitals

"Eeeeeeee" Inuyasha screamed then dropped the box as if it were burning his hands"Ohhh holy fucking shit y y you crazy bitch"

"What? Kagome asked feigning ignorance

"Some guys dick inside a pussy ya crazy bitch y you cut them off put them in a box gift wrapped then gave them to me this is the sickest shit I have ever seen in my whole life" Inuyasha said

"Inuyasha calm down" Kagome said

Kagome walked toward him he backed up "Y you stay away from me" he stammered

"Inuyasha" Kagome said calmly

"I told you wench stay away from me" he said with his hand on tatsuseiga's hilt

"Inuyasha it's okay it's only a joke their not real and man made it's fake" Kagome told the fearful hanyou Sango and Miroku started laughing

"Not real fake joke bastards I hate yo" was all Inuyasha got out before he passed out

"Oh damn I lose more good hanyou's that way" Kagome said then bent over double laughing

An hour later Inuyasha woke up "Welcome back little brother I did it and only used one claw" Sesshoumaru said while holding the fake genitalia in one hand then licked what appeared to be blood off the claw on his other hand

"Ahhhhhhh" Inuyasha screamed then passed out again

"He's tooo easy I love it" Sesshoumaru joked smiling evilly followed by his cohorts

**About canine's she's ready and the attack**

"Kagome maybe we should try the canine method" said Miroku

"What do you mean the canine method? Kagome asked

"Think about it in one way Inuyasha is different then regular men"

"How do you mean? she asked

"When he is sitting down pretend you dropped something small get down on all fours making damn sure your ass is up and facing him" Miroku instructed

"Yeah but what good will that do?

"Think about it Kagome he is half dog demon" and what do they have in common with regular dogs? They want to mount a female who's in the she's ready and submissive position"

"Miroku you are a hentai genius and king" Kagome praised

"Well they don't call me perv for nothing and I must say just between you and me if I was unattached and in Inuyasha's position I'd have jumped you a long long time ago" he said with a big pervy grin

"Thanks Miroku"

That night the moon was high and bright the sky was clear and full of stars the perfect setting for romance everyone sat readying themselves for dinner, Kagome had slipped a little something extra into Inuyasha's tea and waited she pretended to drop something bent over looked then got down on all fours and felt around the ground searching

"Tonight should be the night hopefully he'll take the bait and jump her bones" Miroku thought

"So help me kami's if he doesn't do something this time I'm kicking his ass" Sango thought while wearing a smirk

"K Kagome what are you doing? Inuyasha asked

"What's it look like I'm doing? Looking for something"

"Looking for what? Inuyasha asked

"A ring I dropped"

Then as Miroku instructed she turned her butt to face Inuyasha then put it up his eyes bulged when he saw her sexy see through red lace panties a million feelings ran through him all at once and nervousness was one of them, Inuyasha gulped his breath hitched and he felt like he was going to explode then jumped up to run

That did it Kagome decided being coy and submissive alone was not going to do it and that she was going to have to resort to more drastic measures, Inuyasha ran and Kagome was not far behind him with the agility of a cat she reached out grabbed the collar of his haori and pulled him back to her

"Oh no you don't my hot little hanyou" Kagome said aggressively

"Kagome what the hell wench?

"Shut up dog boy" Kagome said and swiftly had him pinned between her and a tree

"Ka Kagome what are you doing?

"I've had it with hinting tempting and coyness so I've decided to use the direct approach"

"Wh wh what for" he stuttered

"This" Kagome reached with one hand cupped his manhood in her hand then felt it and his nuts and needless to say he was big and hard "My my you are a big boy aren't you? She said in a sexy tone

"Oh my god's wench your fucking killing me"

"Well I know of a cure for that" she told him

"Yeah like what?

"You could fuck me that's what" Kagome answered

To further make her point she crashed her lips down onto his and ground into him he groaned parted her lips with his tongue dove in and grabbed her ass, using his claws Inuyasha sliced her panties off Kagome brushed against his tongue with hers making him crazy and tripling his desire

**Lemon starts**

Before she knew it she was against the tree with her dress hiked up and with Inuyasha who had undid and dropped his hakama down inside her popping her cherry he broke the kiss "You feel fucking incredible you wanted to get fucked now you are I hope your enjoying it" he said with a smirk

"God's yes this is way better then my fantasies" she replied then licked the edges of and nibbled his ear he sped up slamming into her hard and fast "Inu oh god's Inuyasha you feel so good"

"That's my wench come for me come on baby don't hold back give me what you got" he said in a deep lust filled voice he kissed her then trailed his lips down her neck and felt her tighten around him

"_**Fuck me Inuyasha ah Inu Inuyashaaaaa" **_she cried as her climax hit and more soon followed drenching his shaft

"Your mine forever wench" he said in a feral possessive tone

"Yes Yasha, oooo more harder please" she said

"Kagome I I can't get enough" he felt his own release nearing

Their climaxes began at the same time and before she could even form her next thought his fangs were in the crook of her neck, she didn't know why but instinct drove her to do the same it surprised her to find that she now had fangs the two released each other from their fangs

"_**Oh my god's yes Inuyashaaa"**_

"_**Gome ah shit yes Kagome" **_the two cried out

Inuyasha devoured her lips with his hard and passionately while their joining continued a bright eerie pale purple glow surrounded them as their powers merged they'd now share these new combined powers forever and they would triple in strength from and because of their joining, the eerie glow that surrounded them was seen by Miroku and the others signaling their mating

A long time had passed and after the mates were spent for a few minutes they rested Inuyasha started nipping her neck and she rubbed his ears he immediately hardened then she felt him twitch inside her "The ears Inuyasha? You've got to be kidding me the ears are an erogenous zone? Kagome asked

"Well I am half dog demon" and you know how regular dogs like getting their ears scratched? Well with Inu's for us it is a major turn on" he told her

"Shit wish I had known that I'd have done it to you a long time ago"

"Ya did it now and I'm gonna fuck your brains out" he teased

"I love you, you horny dog" Kagome said

"Yeah me to ya crazy wench" he teased in a flash he had them both out of their clothes "Whoa nice and their all mine" Inuyasha said then gently sucked on her breasts

"That's it my pervy canine now your ass is mine"

In the blink of an eye Inuyasha found himself on his back mounted and being ridden by his very horny amorous mate "Ah shit yes Kagome fuck me ride me hard"

Kagome leaned forward kissed him then kissed and nipped his neck down to and stopped at his nipples and licked them "Mmm tasty now I'm gonna make you scream my name" she promised

Kagome then rode him so hard it was almost inhuman and soon was rewarded "Oh holy fucking shit woman oh my dear kami's yes" he arched his back so hard she almost thought he broke it _**"Kagomeeeeeee" **_they came together

**Lemon ends**

Way off in the distance also seeing the glow was Sesshoumaru "It is about time little brother"

"Halle fucking lujah" Miroku exclaimed

"Finally" Sango said

"Hey Sango what was that, that Kagome slipped into Inuyasha's tea" asked Sango

"My dear Sango Kagome was going to slip half of a Viagra into his tea but I gave her something better"

"Something better like what"

"A relaxation potion that also causes inhibition a lovely concoction I learned to make during my training used only in extreme cases such as Inuyasha's" Miroku answered with a devious grin

"Miroku you are so evil it's scary" Sango said with a smile

The following morning Kagome came back to the village for bathing supplies and that is when they saw Kagome's hair was now down to her knees she had claws fangs the jagged cheek stripes Inuyasha gets when he's out of control and golden eyes

Inuyasha came looking for and found her there he was also changed he had his cheek stripes but was not in a rage and seemed calmer plus his and Kagome's auras were the same he'd never lose control to his demon side again much like Sesshoumaru

Inuyasha put Kagome over his shoulder "I ain't done with you yet wench" he said smiling evilly "See you guys in a few days hehehe" Inuyasha said and laughed

"Congratulations you two" Sango and Miroku said in unison to their retreating forms

"Thank you" they replied and were gone they did not return till 3 weeks later


End file.
